tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18111504940345239472024-03-13T05:00:16.696-07:00My Blues RoomJoshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-45656431031444888152013-07-24T05:00:00.001-07:002013-07-24T16:06:06.368-07:00The Church PeopleI was born in diverse-religious (big) family of Catholic, Protestant,
and Islam. I feel lucky that I was given this opportunity to embrace
this difference. Feel so much warmth, kindness, and everything is so
positive especially when we gather to celebrate the big days every year
like Idul Fitri and Christmas. I went to catholic school but when I was
home, I played with friends who are moslems. Some of them was like my
own brothers and sisters. I felt like I was one of them - I learnt their
tradition which is indeed the tradition of majority in this huge
country. Nevertheless, I still believed that we are very "RICH"
and the most important thing is that we are caring and
respecting each other.
15 years ago, on my way to karate training at the church's parking lot near my house,
I had an accident. I was chasing this public transportation and fell off
when I was trying to land my foot on to the entrance step. My knee hit
the asphalt road and I think I was dragged (I didn't know how) for
several feets before the car finally managed to stop. I screamed in
pain, bled quite badly, and the driver was so panic. He got off the car
and helped brought me in to the car. The rest of passengers were already
off the car when I was in. I didn't know where the driver was going to
take me. Definitely he didn't take me home - I sensed that he felt
guilty for this and was afraid facing my parents. I felt so bad since
this happened because of my own stubbornness to chase the moving vehicle.
Apparently, I was taken to his house. My presence drew attention of his
neighbors. As I laid in the living room, they curiously watched me
through the door and windows. The driver's wife started to take care of my
wounds and rub the bump on my knee which looked bigger. Someone finally
asked me a question: Where did you heading just now? To the church, I
replied. And I hear another lady said to the driver, to calm him
down: "I think it's okay. He is a church people. Church people are
nice". I said to myself, well, I go to church to join karate
training - to learn how to kick people's ass. Nice? Anyway, I
thought, we are actually doing okay so far. That was their immediate impression
of "the church people": Nice. There was no bad judgement nor any sign of
refusal from them. And I also thought they were very nice too. I felt the
same thing like when I was among families and friends (who hold
different faith) - warmth. This difference, I believed, can't stop us becoming one big happy family.
Well, I was wrong.. (to be continued)
Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-886383914797751472012-04-05T00:59:00.003-07:002012-04-08T05:54:21.063-07:00?? - !!Dear Yosua,<br /><br />.....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">One general thing I have to say about your comments and the future ones: we are all professionals working for the same project and the usage of multiple exclamation points and question marks is not appropriate for a official file sharing. I am sure that this will be strictly avoided in future. </span><br /><br />....<br /><br /><br />Thank You<br />Regards<br /><br />xxx<br /><br />Reply:<br /><br />Hi xxx,<br /><br />Thank you for your clarification.<br /><br />I apologize if my comments on the shop drawing had given a negative perception to your side. Giving an offensive respond or being unprofessional was never really my intention. The actual purpose of my “intense” comments was to give a firm reminder of an issue that is seemed forgotten or over-looked as it’s shown repeatedly in the drawings and photograph. However, I understand your concern completely and I will avoid that in the future.<br /><br />Best regards,<br /><br />Yosua<br /><br />oops.. I'm being unprofessional!!Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-34202404790358574462012-03-15T12:54:00.004-07:002012-03-15T13:30:57.788-07:00The Default Rule/syou can hate someone because of the way he/she looks at you or speaks to you, you can hate someone because he/she eats pizza with fork and knife, you can hate someone because of his/her pervert jokes, you can hate someone because of his/her hair style, you can hate someone because he/she speaks bullshits all the time, you can even hate someone because he/she likes you. you can have zillion of reasons to hate someone..nevertheless, you must have zero reason to love..that is...an everyday-effort..Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-53126475677324643282012-03-01T09:16:00.003-08:002012-03-01T17:19:05.735-08:00The Morning WhiskeyHi Mr. Will,<br /><br />How are you? I'm not sure if you still remember me. Do you remember that morning when you approached me and asked if you could join walking along with me? Then we did chat about many things. Your wife, your hometown in California, and you talked about the same things over and over again, and the aroma of alcohol was getting stronger as you spoke more. You talked about how fucked-up your life was, how this life were corrupted, how the local girls were trying so hard to hook-up with you because they thought you were filthy rich.. and many other ugly things. But then suddenly you stopped walking when we reached this quite huge field and pointed at the cloudy red-blue sky as the background of the city skyline, and you said "you know what beautiful is? this is beautiful.." and you said that many things around us are beautiful, but companies and governments made people loosing their sense of beauty. And everything become ugly and shitty. You said that you wished you had a book that contains all of the answers of life, like kind of a manual to live. You wished you had it and gave it to me. I didn't know what to respond and I offered you my pray, but you refused it and told me to take care of myself and also people around me, people that I love. You left with stagger steps. I just hoped that you would reach home safely. Do you remember any of that?<br /><br />That time I said to myself how awful people are when they are drunk. But you know what, I drank quite plenty of alcohol last week. 2 glasses of wine, 2 cans of beer, and one glass of vodka (with sprite) I took. It was quite tough for me because I've never got drunk before. I said to myself "welcome to the adulthood..!". I enjoyed it though; felt happy, left behind my problems for awhile and had so much fun with friends. I started to understand why people actually need alcohol. . Maybe when people drunk, they can gain their sense of beauty back, they are happy regardless of how hard their situation are. I really wish I could have some of those liquors again right now.<br /><br />Well, maybe we can drink together next time mr. Will, and talk about the bitter-sweet taste of life. It's gonna be fun. Take care!<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />(you don't remember my name, do you?)Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-21881961074320312742012-01-05T07:46:00.000-08:002012-01-05T08:56:46.569-08:00The Good Old Fucking Daysthere is a time to laugh and there is a time to mourn. there is a time to hug and there is a time to let go. there is a time to run and there is a time to crawl. there is a time to share and there is a time to keep. there is a time to lay and there is a time to stand up tall. there is a time to sing and there is a time to cry. there is a time to give birth and there is a time to die. there is a time to hope and there is a time to give-up. there is a time to wait and there is a time to fuck-things-up. there is a time to pray and there is a time to curse. there is a time to listen and there is a time to scream. there is a time to see and there is a time to ignore. for everything has its own time.Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-38008328401721246642011-01-17T05:18:00.000-08:002011-04-09T20:20:21.083-07:00The Bus Captain and The Girl (with attitude)gheeezz..!! I just had the longest weekend in this city!.. had the massive fun but then got my body fatigued in return! and this morning the bed was so very very very mmmphhh.. you know.. it's like mmmmmhhhh...pppffffftttt...ooough yessssss!.. it was sooooooo... oooh God!! you know exactly what I mean don't you?.. well anyway, I managed to get up and did my morning ritual things, and bla bla bla..and got my heels hit the road.. and God provided me my lovely 851 bus just in time! I saw bunch of people were trying to get in to my big sweet lady there..and I got my chance to settle in and stood not far from the entrance steps.but still, there were numbers of people standing behind me. after telling the passengers inside to step further in, the bus captain, who looked much older than my father, stood and shouted to those desperate people around the entrance: "no more please!!no space already..!" (in local accent) instantly I heard a girl standing on the step where the door will be closed shouted back "I don't believe!" (also in local accent)her voice was so gentle yet sounds so cynical..she continued murmuring with his male friend who managed to stood next to the tap machine, and she sounded irritated even more when the bus captain replied "tap your card first, or we're not going!"the girl handed her card to her friend for tapping. when the door was about to be closed, the captain said "be careful,don't let the door hit your beautiful leg"..."no money to go the hospital, okay!" he continued. the door closed and finally we off.until then I still heard her cursing, I think, judging from her tones.. reaching a quite sharp turning the captain warned "watch out, it's dangerous here..hold on!" and after that was the moment when my ears was so itchy like I never clean them for years: the girl replied: "just shut up and drive!" again it was very gentle and again it was so so damn cynical.. I was amazed and tried to look at the captain who amazingly kept his calm.. whoaaa.... then I thought, maybe no need to be so surprised, for I have heard so many times that kindness is a rarity in this city. and maybe this was just one of the thousands of example where seniors were treated so unwell..but then, still, I felt so sorry for the captain, her phrase was easily and calmly spoken..maybe it was okay for the captain, but not for me! try not to judge further more, I desperately hoped that the girl or maybe the other girls or guys will be somehow reminded and then eventually realized that.. how fucking cruel they are! shit!! fuck those ass holes! bitch!!Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-60230358384745335742011-01-12T03:15:00.000-08:002011-01-12T04:19:38.304-08:00The Wind“..wind is the love we don’t understand but feel..” (William Cullen Byant in Dance With Wind)<br /><br />That night, the wind came and whispered to me that my life was not mine.. <br /><br />the wind blew me away from all the self conveniences I was searching for,<br />from all the things I like and I don’t.. <br />from all the insincerity…..the wind blew me away <br /><br />my life was belong to the others, the wind whispered..<br /><br />And then the wind took me at once..<br /><br />The wind showed to me how pleasant it was to see the prisoners stepping out from that space of hopelessness where the sound of cracking bones was so loud and clear in the ears…<br />and how beautiful it was to see them smiling to the morning sun while embracing the warmth..<br /><br />and I agreely smiled.. <br /><br />The wind was so real and imaginary at the same time. The wind blew me gently and I flew somehow.. The wind surrounded me and then released me.. I confusedly landed and..<br /><br />yes… however, it was just the wind in any way.Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-85948099752364401162010-05-31T20:56:00.000-07:002010-05-31T20:59:15.884-07:00The Venomin every hour I passed..I got poisoned by voices echoing in this freaking head..someone please blow this head..Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-39638757028412038472010-05-31T18:47:00.000-07:002010-05-31T18:53:34.679-07:00The Outro.."when disaster strikes, you just have to remind yourself of this..what the world needs now is love sweet love, no not just for some but for everyone.."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Chris Martin</span>Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-26221731937647526522010-05-23T22:54:00.000-07:002010-05-23T23:04:56.990-07:00Everything EndsYou are wrong, fucked, and overrated!<br />I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything.<br />I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything!<br /><br />AAAHHH...<br /><br />Shallow skin, I can paint with pain.<br />I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain.<br />Everyday it's the same - I LOVE, YOU HATE.<br />But I guess I don't care any more.<br /><br />AAAHHH...<br /><br />Fix my problems with the blade.<br />While my eyes turn from blue to gray.<br />God, the worst thing happened to me today.<br />But I guess I don't care anymore.<br /><br />AAAHHH...<br /><br />You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!<br />I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything.<br />I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything!<br /><br />My flaws are the only thing left that's pure.<br />Can't really live, can't really endure.<br />Everything I see reminds me of her.<br />God I wish I didn't care anymore.<br />The more I touch, the less I feel.<br />I'm lying to myself that it's not real.<br />Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal?<br />I'm never gonna care anymore.<br /><br />You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!<br />I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything.<br />I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything!<br /><br />You're wrong and overrated!<br />I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything.<br />I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything!<br /><br />SUCKER...<br /><br />What the hell am I doing?<br />Is there anyone left in my life?<br />What the fuck was I thinking?<br />Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?<br />Where the hell am I going?<br />Do I even need a reason to hide?<br />I am only betrayed!<br />I am only conditioned to die!<br /><br />You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!<br />I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything.<br />I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything!<br /><br />You are wrong and overrated!<br />I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything.<br />I haven't slept since I found out my whole life was a lie!<br />This is the end of everything.<br />You are the end of everything!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Slipknot</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ps: when everything seems undefined and purposeless..</span>Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-30738484712250356342010-05-13T10:24:00.000-07:002010-05-13T11:02:49.351-07:00The Ascendinghi..(sigh..not sure if anyone is bothered about this)..anyway, it's me again,last time I came with a super-spirited-will-to-write, promise that (at least to my self) I would be more "expressive" through the words! but then I found here it's been almost one year long I left my room empty..maybe I was born to just keep things "inside"..the truth is the ideas are at every corners of my silly head! but it seems that my motoric tools were hardly response, or do something to make the ideas recorded and the keyword is "lazy"..ooooh well, anyway..that is not the point..the point is I'm still awake at 1.44 am, friday morning, just try to make myself doing something other than playing soccer game in my laptop, and getting pissed off every time I lost..*woaa..this is pretty long intro and I haven't even touched a topic that I wanted to express.. gheezz I'm hungry and sleepy..I can't think! am I wasting my time..???argggh!!.. (at least I've tried)<br /><br />good night everyone, if there is..Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-22353453460650764462009-09-22T07:58:00.000-07:002012-01-07T16:42:25.456-08:00The Death and The BattleDo you know how does it feel when you know that you are dead? I felt death last night...<br /><br />I was in a room with a bunch of people which I didn't familiar with, waiting for something that we didn't know. The room was like a dormitory with a quite big stagged platform for people to lay or sit on. We were waiting and waiting, still didn't know why, what for, and how we got in there. After a while, we were released from the room, there was no order nor announcement from some kind of authority or else; we just felt that we had the permission (read:obligation) to leave. There was a small and quick farewell as we had been there quite long together; yes, we need to go separately, again, didn't know why, just felt that we had to..<br />I was in the middle of a place like city (I think) walking away from the room, heading to nowhere. It was a bright, hot, and humid climate I felt; this feeling I did familiar with..suddenly a guy was walking beside me; he was the second thing which I familiar with so far. He told me a weird thing that my body was found and they (?) would tell the news and send it to my family...his words..I just felt worry..yes..that's all.."worry"..worry that I had not done enough of my role. Although, the second child of my parents is a boy, although I thought the sorrows would not last forever (would it?) I just felt, it was just not enough..it hasn't been completed...Then my memory brought me to my girl. How was she? How will she live with someone else?? No, I didn't think I could even think about it. The precious will be left. No, please don't...please!!<br /><br />Then.. I woke up.. finished? no, not yet..<br />It was a familiar room where every morning I wake up. I met some people that I knew well, very well. I went out, I saw a guy was being chased by a yellow giant robot; it was a big mechanical-creature and I felt an evil in it, somehow...I saw this guy, looked as if he wasn't in a trouble at all. He challenged the thing there; he was so confident that at the end of the day he felt he would win over it. I followed them heading to an unused warehouse; it was an old big warehouse; I could see some sun rays came in through the broken glass of the arch doors, but the room was not well lightened though..the warehouse became even more silent and "cold". Eyes to meet eyes; they were facing each other, standing still in silence; the battle could be started any time soon. I was outside the warehouse, standing behind the glass arch door, got myself ready to any kind of possibilities. Suddenly a voice called me; it was from the guy..loudly he called me; asking me to join him (what??), he said I had the ability or power to bow down the creature. with all the doubts I had, I put myself closer to the battlefield. I just had his faith in me; that's all..then, even more surprising, the thing put some kind of sign (didn't really know how), then, I saw dots of light spreading through out the city, were elevating to the air, flying, those lights were coming directly to the place where we stand on. getting closer and clearer, the dots became shapes, the shapes became strange creatures, colorful yet disgusting, never seen these things before even in the dreams. and I heard laughters all over the warehouse, echoing, worst voices, unpleasant, bad bad ones!!<br />The crowd filled the warehouse, surrounding us; still with the voices and laughters they were staring at us. Beside me was a creature, looked like a girl in a purple suite which let the most of her skin left showed up; the skin was also purple, she was still chuckling, sometimes louder..(to be continued..)Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-8222163239977868162009-09-22T06:40:00.000-07:002009-09-22T07:56:41.921-07:00The JokeI just watched "Catch Me if You Can" rite..and then I found this scheme where the guy called Carl, played by Tom Hanks, told a joke which was very catchy yet somehow..genius! well here it goes..<br />A (Carl) : d' you want some jokes?<br />B (didn't get the name) : yup sure..!<br />A : ....knock,knock!!<br />B : who's there??<br />A: ..............*after around 5 seconds*.............go fuck yourself!!!!<br /><br />lol..Joshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1811150494034523947.post-16390675194696472772009-09-15T07:27:00.000-07:002010-05-13T10:24:31.390-07:00What's on your mind?A good friend of mine told me that it is good to share thoughts to others, regardless whether it is good or bad. Well, not quite sure the meaning, not quite sure if it works or not. However, here I am with my good intention and sincerity sharing my very thoughts.<br />This could be one way of enjoying life, enjoying myself. And it would be even nicer if at the end people find some answers or questions that can lead them to answers in this blog. Well, who knows? don't you think so?<br />So let me break free, spread my fucking wings, bang my head, shout the anger, laugh my ass up, be careless, and go wherever the wind blows..let it be my blues room...<br /><br />Shit!! it took some times for me to write this small bullshit..well, practice makes perfect, doesn't it? at least I believe that..so, here it goes my very first post, my newborn child..I can understand if you didn't get anything from this crap.. so just fuck off!! (hehe, I didn't mean it..really!)<br /><br />God bless YouJoshuahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05267420390854478013noreply@blogger.com1