The Good Old Fucking Days 7:46 AM

there is a time to laugh and there is a time to mourn. there is a time to hug and there is a time to let go. there is a time to run and there is a time to crawl. there is a time to share and there is a time to keep. there is a time to lay and there is a time to stand up tall. there is a time to sing and there is a time to cry. there is a time to give birth and there is a time to die. there is a time to hope and there is a time to give-up. there is a time to wait and there is a time to fuck-things-up. there is a time to pray and there is a time to curse. there is a time to listen and there is a time to scream. there is a time to see and there is a time to ignore. for everything has its own time.

The Bus Captain and The Girl (with attitude) 5:18 AM

gheeezz..!! I just had the longest weekend in this city!.. had the massive fun but then got my body fatigued in return! and this morning the bed was so very very very mmmphhh.. you know.. it's like mmmmmhhhh...pppffffftttt...ooough yessssss!.. it was sooooooo... oooh God!! you know exactly what I mean don't you?.. well anyway, I managed to get up and did my morning ritual things, and bla bla bla..and got my heels hit the road.. and God provided me my lovely 851 bus just in time! I saw bunch of people were trying to get in to my big sweet lady there..and I got my chance to settle in and stood not far from the entrance steps.but still, there were numbers of people standing behind me. after telling the passengers inside to step further in, the bus captain, who looked much older than my father, stood and shouted to those desperate people around the entrance: "no more please!!no space already..!" (in local accent) instantly I heard a girl standing on the step where the door will be closed shouted back "I don't believe!" (also in local accent)her voice was so gentle yet sounds so cynical..she continued murmuring with his male friend who managed to stood next to the tap machine, and she sounded irritated even more when the bus captain replied "tap your card first, or we're not going!"the girl handed her card to her friend for tapping. when the door was about to be closed, the captain said "be careful,don't let the door hit your beautiful leg"..."no money to go the hospital, okay!" he continued. the door closed and finally we off.until then I still heard her cursing, I think, judging from her tones.. reaching a quite sharp turning the captain warned "watch out, it's dangerous here..hold on!" and after that was the moment when my ears was so itchy like I never clean them for years: the girl replied: "just shut up and drive!" again it was very gentle and again it was so so damn cynical.. I was amazed and tried to look at the captain who amazingly kept his calm.. whoaaa.... then I thought, maybe no need to be so surprised, for I have heard so many times that kindness is a rarity in this city. and maybe this was just one of the thousands of example where seniors were treated so unwell..but then, still, I felt so sorry for the captain, her phrase was easily and calmly spoken..maybe it was okay for the captain, but not for me! try not to judge further more, I desperately hoped that the girl or maybe the other girls or guys will be somehow reminded and then eventually realized that.. how fucking cruel they are! shit!! fuck those ass holes! bitch!!

The Wind 3:15 AM

“..wind is the love we don’t understand but feel..” (William Cullen Byant in Dance With Wind)

That night, the wind came and whispered to me that my life was not mine..

the wind blew me away from all the self conveniences I was searching for,
from all the things I like and I don’t..
from all the insincerity…..the wind blew me away

my life was belong to the others, the wind whispered..

And then the wind took me at once..

The wind showed to me how pleasant it was to see the prisoners stepping out from that space of hopelessness where the sound of cracking bones was so loud and clear in the ears…
and how beautiful it was to see them smiling to the morning sun while embracing the warmth..

and I agreely smiled..

The wind was so real and imaginary at the same time. The wind blew me gently and I flew somehow.. The wind surrounded me and then released me.. I confusedly landed and..

yes… however, it was just the wind in any way.

The Venom 8:56 PM

in every hour I passed..I got poisoned by voices echoing in this freaking head..someone please blow this head..

The Outro 6:47 PM

.."when disaster strikes, you just have to remind yourself of this..what the world needs now is love sweet love, no not just for some but for everyone.."

Chris Martin

Everything Ends 10:54 PM

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!

AAAHHH...

Shallow skin, I can paint with pain.
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain.
Everyday it's the same - I LOVE, YOU HATE.
But I guess I don't care any more.

AAAHHH...

Fix my problems with the blade.
While my eyes turn from blue to gray.
God, the worst thing happened to me today.
But I guess I don't care anymore.

AAAHHH...

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!

My flaws are the only thing left that's pure.
Can't really live, can't really endure.
Everything I see reminds me of her.
God I wish I didn't care anymore.
The more I touch, the less I feel.
I'm lying to myself that it's not real.
Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal?
I'm never gonna care anymore.

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!

You're wrong and overrated!
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!

SUCKER...

What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?
Where the hell am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed!
I am only conditioned to die!

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated!
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven't slept since I woke up and found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!

You are wrong and overrated!
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything.
I haven't slept since I found out my whole life was a lie!
This is the end of everything.
You are the end of everything!

Slipknot

ps: when everything seems undefined and purposeless..

The Ascending 10:24 AM

hi..(sigh..not sure if anyone is bothered about this)..anyway, it's me again,last time I came with a super-spirited-will-to-write, promise that (at least to my self) I would be more "expressive" through the words! but then I found here it's been almost one year long I left my room empty..maybe I was born to just keep things "inside"..the truth is the ideas are at every corners of my silly head! but it seems that my motoric tools were hardly response, or do something to make the ideas recorded and the keyword is "lazy"..ooooh well, anyway..that is not the point..the point is I'm still awake at 1.44 am, friday morning, just try to make myself doing something other than playing soccer game in my laptop, and getting pissed off every time I lost..*woaa..this is pretty long intro and I haven't even touched a topic that I wanted to express.. gheezz I'm hungry and sleepy..I can't think! am I wasting my time..???argggh!!.. (at least I've tried)

good night everyone, if there is..